Hi. You may have noticed there’s a portfolio page on the navigation bar now. Due to life happenings, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I present myself, both in the professional and social space.
I am really reluctant to ever associate any of the work on the portfolio page with my legal name, but I feel like mentioning it on a resume is likely to increase my odds of being considered for a job in the field I’m looking for. Right now my resume doesn’t actually link the page, but if there’s ever an interviewer that is particularly interested in the “Minecraft modder with over 4 million downloads” line, it would be good to have something to back it up with.
I recognize that my creations aren’t particularly impressive as far as the entire modding space and whole indie game development scene goes, but I do think that listing them is something that potential employers will be impressed by.
Also, regarding how I present myself, I shaved my face. I’ve had facial hair pretty much since high school, so this was a pretty big change, but I felt like I needed it. For one, with the face masks still being required in many places, I’ve felt like I haven’t needed to maintain my facial hair since nobody can see it with the mask on. But as the world (attempts to) approach normalcy, and as I try to build a social life, I definitely need to put care into the appearance of my now-visible face.
And for two, well, I think I’m learning more about myself and how I want to present.
damn I’m kinda cute
I think being present in queer-friendly places online and in person have helped me explore and understand what it is about how I want to present. Before you ask, no, I don’t have a queer gender identity – I’m very much a cisgender male – but what that means to me has always been drastically different from what that means to society. I mean, I’ve always had long hair. My hair is really long now (I need get a measurement in inches… but it does go past my shoulderblades) and I want to grow it as long as it’s able to be. To me, the length, thickness, and health of my hair represents my “power”, my masculinity if you will. I’m not one for horoscopes, but this is definitely a Leo trait.
To be honest, I’ve been playing Shin Megami Tensei V, a game with a very… um… for lack of a better word, gendery protagonist. That is to say, how the Nahobino is designed is very reminiscent to how I view my ideal gender presentation (or “fashion sense” I suppose). Of course, this character isn’t bound to the laws of reality while I am, but I do find his design fascinating and, well, “gender”.
that hair tho
I’ve come to realize that I really like the “long haired pretty boy” trope, and while I doubt I can fulfill that as well as this character can, I think I can get pretty close.