Too often I have been told, explicitly or subtly, that being what some vague idea of “people in general” perceive as “weird” will conflict with my goals in life. I reject this notion.
Some actual things that have been said to me:
Doing (insert activity seen as weird here) will make it hard to make friends.
First of all, I beg to differ; I have always found spaces and people to be weird around. Even if not as easily as others, I have still found “my people”. And second of all, as long as the activity isn’t actively hurting anyone, I see no reason it should be discouraged. You can argue it’s hurting me in some nebulous way, but what matters is my perspective on it.
Being a (insert uncommon aspect of identity here) will make it harder to get a job/stay employed.
That’s not my fault, and it shouldn’t be a consideration when it comes to choosing a job or career. I would not want to work with judgmental or discriminatory people anyway. And do not confuse what I do outside of work for how I behave at work. Being XYZ doesn’t mean I don’t know how to be professional.
If you lived in (insert developing country here), you would be killed for (insert behavior seen as weird here)!
Okay…? But I don’t live in that country. I live in the United States of America, which is supposed to be a free country. I don’t expect to ever have to travel to that country.
If you were (insert class of person here), you wouldn’t have time/energy/money to worry about (insert activity seen as weird here).
Again, I’m not the class of person being described. I acknowledge I have privileges others don’t. But that’s no reason to not participate in something I enjoy. It’s shocking how common hypothetical entirely different scenarios are used rhetorically.
These statements are fruitless attempts to change me, and sometimes come from the same people who encouraged me to be myself in my childhood. Your disapproval does not come before my happiness.