As a result of extensive (and exhausting) conversations with family regarding my being, we have identified several difficulties I have. I am writing them here because they may prove useful to others.
- I have difficulty identifying day-to-day problems because what I can perceive is limited by sensory overload.
- I run out of spoons (emotional, social, or other kinds) for the day frequently enough that I am exhausted a lot.
- Neurotypicals can’t always read my emotions from my facial expressions or tone of voice.
- I may have difficulty prescribing thoughts and feelings to people based on their actions.
- This is called mentalizing (the ability to understand the mental state – of oneself or others – that underlies overt behavior[Wikipedia])
- Regarding specific tasks, I accept that the person asking the task of me thinks it’s important, and I accept that they think that I should also think it’s important. However, because I may have difficulty mentalizing, I often ask questions to understand their motivations.
- Note from my (nuerotypical) mother: [He] asks about our/others’ motivations before beginning a task with monotone voice and no facial expression so [he] appears to be resisting doing the task and he may appear rude or manipulative [to neurotypicals]. This is why he wrote [the next point] so we all understand him and avoid perceiving him as lazy or unwilling.
- I want others to understand why I am asking questions about their thoughts/feelings/motivations.
I might add to this list as more things come up. This has been a difficult process of self-explaining to my family, and understanding myself in the position of trying to become fully and completely independent in this neurotypical world has been disheartening (to say the least).